B: It’s like Lucy Van Pelt meets Garfield meets Spy vs. Spy
Me: meets Tom and Jerry
B: meets Itchy and Scratchy
Tucked away somewhere in my suppressed conscious are the details of my acting debut.
In kindergarten, our class was due to give a “play” for parent’s night, and despite what I’m sure was an excellent attempt at snagging that scarlet cloak, I lost it to the girl who actually owned one. (The budget was tight and my past Halloween picks didn’t serve me well here.) Still, my acting merits won me a role in the 20-minute kiddie indie.
It wasn’t the fact that I was playing a bed-ridden, infirm old woman who is eaten by a wolf that bothered me. No. It was the fact that I had to wear my pajamas in front of the whole class that made my stomach tie up in knots. On principle, I refused to go barefoot to leave some dignity intact. I wore a full length night dress and bonnet, and much to my horror, was forced to hug the smelliest boy in the class who played the role of the woodsman due to his enormous size, I’m sure.
"Matilda said, "Never do anything by halves if you want to get away with it. Be outrageous. Go the whole hog. Make sure everything you do is so completely crazy it’s unbelievable…""
- Roald Dahl’s Matilda (a forever ago favorite)
As we chatted, we began listing our favorite scents. It’s funny, but if you ask someone to name their all-time favorite smells they’re usually not found inside a Bath & Body or wafting from your favorite kitchen. They’re subtle yet familiar, and somehow have the power to take your thoughts from chaotic bustle to sleepy hamlet with just one sniff. It’s what Glade will always strive for and never manage to tap.
Other favorite scents:
Freshly mowed grass
Pert Plus shampoo
Baseball diamond dirt
The air, about two blocks downwind of the Sunbeam Bread Factory
Popcorn popped outdoors
… about virgins and vampires.
Metaphor for good and evil or my sultry taste in alliteration?
"And you. You look like little birds help you get dressed in the morning."
"What? Oh, dancing. Like Beyonce.”