January 2010
30 posts
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Excerpt
“I’ve been writing short stories since I was fifteen. I have trouble writing simply and naturally. My mind is stocked with some black neckties, and though I’m throwing them out as fast as I find them, there will always be a few left over. I am a dash man and not a miler, and it is probable that I will never write a novel. So far the novels of this war have had too much of the...
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Inner Conflict
Too much time spent ogling the new Apple product has left me with two opposite feelings: 1. Pretty. I want one. 2. Smash the nearest computer, chuck your cell phone, run to the nearest green space with your favorite book.
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A reference
For the record: meep = sad, desolate, down-trodden, scaredmow = overwhelmed, shy, curious, meekmorp = covered in green sludge - B
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Gchat, Tacos Edition
B: I’m overwhelmed. I blame the tacos. Me: What? That’s ridiculous. You can’t be overwhelmed by Tacos. Tacos are not whelming, they’re delicious. You jerk. B: Truer words have never been spoken. I want to seek out the most delicious tacos in NYC. Me: Because surely with them lies the most delicious margaritas. B: Surely Me: The road to great tacos is paved with great...
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Hey Ladies
If you want to be hit on, take a stack of comics to a Brooklyn coffee shop.
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Excerpt
“Really? Wow. You’re a fucking idiot. I mean, even for a twelve year old, your level of emotional intelligence is frighteningly low. It’s not that I don’t care what you do, it’s that I honestly can’t give you any advice. I suppose I could tell you to start reading existentialist philosophy in a quest for self-realization, but who are we kidding? Jersey Shore re-runs are about to start, and...
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When it rains...
The pinky finger I broke during a 10th-grade gym class basketball game hurts like mad. I hate sports.
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The xx
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On Blazing Saddles
“I mean, come on, I like farts a lot more than my mom likes farts.”
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On NBC
“All I ask is one thing, and I’m asking this particularly of young people that watch: Please do not be cynical. I hate cynicism. For the record, it’s my least favorite quality. It doesn’t lead anywhere. Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you’re kind, I’m telling you, amazing things will...
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Static
My hair is attempting to electrocute my face. Help!
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Wednesday, Thursday, Friday
1. Hall & Oates sings the perfect soundtrack for a sleepy afternoon. Fleetwood Mac on vinyl blasts through dinner. “Rumors” is a perfect album. 2. The cancellation of the writing workshop goes unexplained. To make my uptown jaunt seem less inconveniencing I waif my way through the magazines, trying to find one that’s “me.” I can’t. Marie Claire is too fussy;...
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Central Park at Eleven
It’s unsettling to watch the children of New York when you finally realize that not only are they more refined, better dressed, and already wield an allowance close to my own income – but that they’re more in tune and relaxed with this City than perhaps I’ll ever be simply because they are home. Meanwhile my corner of New York still feels like an unfinished Play Doh creation....
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He says Murder, he says.
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likes/dislikes
glamor/glitz sunday/football isms/scruples colin firth/colin farrell
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In the office kitchen
Bag of Jim Beam sunflower seeds. Box of Jolt Energy Mints. I pass.
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Excerpt
“I have no regret over calling Greenspan a political hack. Because he was. The things you heard me say about George Bush? You never heard me apologize about any of them. Because he was. What was I supposed to say? I called him a liar twice. Because he lied to me twice.” New York Times Magazine profile of Harry Reid
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It's time to take sides
Leno, be damned.
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LIES
shakes fist.
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should be words
t-rexing, unresolvedly, shitacious
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On flirting
“How do you think I got so much tail at church camp?”
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On January
“There’s nothing good in January. Don’t even say MLK Day. I know he’s a good guy, but he just doesn’t give me that warm, fuzzy feeling.”
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In which I ate soup at my desk
Fiasco! and a burnt tongue. The next bite I trap in my spoon will sit and cool. Impatience causes me to blow, which leads to the present: Wiping rice from my splattered screen.
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Dear Humanity: Kindly explain yourself.
The Daily What
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51 Ways to Tell if You're Possessed by Demons
12. On that sheet of paper, draw what you think Satan looks like. Are you doing it? Good. If that picture is a pleasant figure such as a Care Bear or Teletubby then you could be possessed by demons. Add a mark. Brilliant.
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Ruthless clicking
Subject line: The Chino, reinvented Delete.
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On fashion
“Okay, dude, honesty hour. Do I look like a lumberjack today?”
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winter vocab list
hearth, blanketed, white russian, nor’easter, frosted, tucked, rosy, yuletide, yore, yearn, toasted, muff, merry
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Trains don't stop your soul
January starts off dreary. Johnny Flynn keeps me company. Listen: Trains [Rose, Mary and Time] -…
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On Apples To Apples
“The most flirtatious? Choir boys, cause they’re asking for it.”